The 12 Alarming Reasons Why Men Pull Away: What he’s thinking? There is nothing worse than having a guy inexplicable pull away from you. Find out.
There is nothing worse than having a guy inexplicable pull away from you. You thought everything was going great, and you were looking forward to finally settling down in a committed relationship.
You were even thinking, “Long gone are the days of broken hearts and uncertainty. This one is a keeper”.
But then his behavior suddenly changes. He starts calling less, or he looks disinterested when you are talking to him. Your text messages aren’t responded to for hours or, worse yet, he leaves them on unread.
You get that all too familiar sinking feeling in your stomach because you know that something is up. It even might be leading to an inevitable breakup, which means back to the land of Singledom. Why is life so unfair sometimes?
Don’t worry, even if your guy is incapable of being straightforward with you, it’s very likely that you can figure out what is going wrong all by yourself. I will share with you 11 main reasons why your guy has been MIA lately.
It’s terrific to be able to recognize what is happening and figure out if you have a chance of fixing it or not. Knowledge will empower you.
But remember, it’s never ok to play mind games with someone.
Especially someone, you have been intimate with and feel close. Mind games always end up hurting people. If your guy is playing mind games with you, then it’s time you called him out on it.
You might need to break up with him and show him that you value yourself a whole heap more than tolerating his emotionally immature behavior. Always remember to put YOU first. You are a beautiful and special woman, and there are thousands of people out there who are willing to love you and treat you the way that you want.
With that in mind, let’s get down to business and figure out why your man is acting weird all of a sudden.
12 Alarming Reasons Why Men Pull Away:
1. He is experiencing stress in his life that he isn’t talking to you about
Not every reason he is pulling away could be something terrible. For example, he may genuinely be experiencing a lot of stress in his days.
He might not want to worry you or make you feel like he needs your help and so he withdraws into himself while he tries to figure everything out.
Men are used to having to resolve issues by themselves and being logical thinkers, and they are usually pretty good at it.
It’s hard to imagine that he could be thinking about anything but you, but there are lots of things that could be stressing him out: family or friend problems, medical issues, financial troubles, just to name a few. Sometimes he has to focus on other things besides your relationship.
He also might not want you to see his weaknesses if there is something genuinely affecting him.
So, don’t get upset or worried, as this will undoubtedly add to his stress. You can simply ask him if he has a lot going on at the moment and let him know that you can give him some time and space to attend to things.
If he is genuine, then he will appreciate your patience.
If your guy has told you that he is just a bit busy or stressed out lately and you give him a few days to sort things out.
Then if he is really into you, it will make him want to be with you all the more. Once he has resolved the other issues, then he will come back to you and be more loving than ever.
2. His feelings for you are overwhelming him.
Men are often not as comfortable with emotions as much as women are. He might not have been expecting, or even wanting, to fall in love.
Sometimes, we can’t choose these feelings, and it can be scary to feel so out of control and disempowered.
Maybe he likes you so much that he is trying to slow things down a little. Perhaps he is taking a step back because he wants to appear like he is playing it cool.
Maybe he is worried that you don’t feel as much for him as he does for you.
Guys are funny like this, their egos are very fragile, and when they get their heart involved with a woman, it can spook them. When this happens, a lot of men will take a step back so that they can process their feelings.
Allowing him some breathing room, and giving him a little reassurance that you are just as keen as he is will help him to relax and feel comfortable. Unfortunately, men often aren’t the best communicators when it comes to their emotions!
He might need you to lead the way.
3. He needs to retreat and recharge
A relationship can sometimes make a man need to get back in touch with his masculine side. This is because he can feel more vulnerable and emotional in a relationship.
These feelings can be very new for many men, and they may need to retreat to something more familiar.
Spending time with his friends or doing the activities he enjoys, such as gaming or having a beer, could be a way for him to switch off his mind a little bit. This helps him to relax.
He understands that the emotional journey of a relationship can feel foreign to many men. If the connection is in its early stages, he just might be getting used to showing his vulnerable side.
Encouraging him to do the things he enjoys and that he finds relaxing can improve the time he spends with you.
4. He is missing the feeling of a chase
It is possible to be too available and too keen in the early stages of a relationship. Some guys may get turned off if you start acting like he is your only reason for living.
I know you like him, and you’re excited to be getting to know him, but it’s important not to forget the other essential aspects of your life, like your friends, family, hobbies, and work.
Showing a guy that you value yourself and your life highly will make him fight or “chase” to be a part of it.
5. He is questioning giving up his independence
Has he started prioritizing other things in his life over your relationship?
Maybe his job is suddenly more important, or he is getting uncomfortable when the topic of you moving in together comes up.
He might be feeling like he is making a lot of sacrifices for you to be together, and this is making him pull away.
It takes a lot of commitment to make a relationship work and so he might be questioning if he is ready for that.
You have to let him have some time to figure out what he wants. If he is a real man, then he will be honest with you.
6. It’s such a cliché, but he is scared of commitment
Similar to having a fear of losing their independence, guys are also scared of commitment.
If a guy is scared of commitment, it will often be because he is too emotionally immature to deal with what it takes to be in a loving, committed relationship.
Unfortunately, these emotionally immature men are usually the worst when it comes to pulling away.
They will ignore you and ghost you, in the hopes that you get the hint. It’s unfair and disrespectful, and any guy like that is simply not worth your time, period.
7. He feels the relationship has changed him and not in the right way
Does your guy feel like he has had to change a lot to keep you happy?
Maybe you have been a bit too demanding and, in the hope of pleasing you, he has tried to be something he is not.
Perhaps the time had come when he realized he just isn’t that compatible with you, and he is now willing to accept it and move on. It can take time to figure out if we are truly compatible with someone.
In the beginning, you can feel so swept away with new emotions that you overlook apparent red flags.
Your man may be pulling away because he no longer sees you as the right mate for him. You are going to feel hurt because you believed he was different.
But the sooner you can accept it, too, the better. It will give you a chance you need to find someone genuine.
8. He is scared of getting hurt. Again.
Similar to needing time because his emotions are overwhelming him, some guys are terrified of being hurt again.
Falling in love can be a fantastic feeling, but it can also be a terrifying one. It makes you feel like you have no control, and it leaves you open to being hurt.
He might have had a terrible breakup, and his heart is hurt. Now he is even more terrified of being hurt.
Maybe you have given him the feeling that you are toying with his heart, and he would instead pull away from you than risk getting hurt again. This is a protective defense mechanism.
If you genuinely like this guy, then you have to prove that you want him! Make sure he feels safe with you so that he trusts that he can be open with you and that you won’t break his heart.
9. He is genuinely busy!
Are you sure he is pulling away, or are you getting so worked up and worried that you THINK he is pulling away, but he just has other things going on?
Sometimes, our minds assume the worst when there is nothing to worry about. Sit down and think about your relationship and the time you spend together. Did something feel off when you were last together or last spoke with each other?
If he has been loving and affectionate with no reason not to be, then ask him if he is just busy or if something else is up.
There’s no point in worrying unnecessarily. Remember to communicate. It’s an essential part of any relationship and can help you avoid drama and worry.
Don’t be accusatory. Open a conversation with the desire to understand and support.
10. He isn’t over his ex
Sometimes we start a relationship to try to get over someone else. This is called having a rebound.
He may have thought he was ready to start something new, but being with you is bringing up a lot of old wounds he hasn’t entirely dealt with yet.
I know this sucks, but it isn’t much you can do about it. A guy won’t be able to offer you the relationship you deserve if he is struggling with his feelings for someone else.
If he is pulling away because he just isn’t ready yet, then hopefully he will be a gentleman and tell you the truth. It’s not fair to make you feel like it’s something you did wrong.
Sometimes, it has nothing to do with you.
11. He’s just not that into you
Probably the hardest reason to deal with and the one that is going to hurt the most is that he just isn’t feeling the same way about you as you are feeling about him.
I know this can crush your self-esteem and make you ask yourself questions like, “Why am I not good enough”? Or, “Is there something wrong with me”?
No! There is nothing wrong with you!
It just comes down to compatibility and what he wants from a relationship. If he already knows you guys won’t be right for each other, then treat his pulling away as a blessing. At least he won’t string you along for months in a dysfunctional relationship.
There are plenty of guys out there who are waiting to treat you exactly how you want to be treated. Don’t let one guy’s rejection bring you down or hold you back. You are deserving of love.
Remember, no man is responsible for how you feel about yourself. Having high self-esteem and a lot of self-love is the best way to guarantee that you will attract a great guy into your life.
It’s never excusable to put up with mind games, abuse, or disrespect in your relationship. If you think your guy is treating you poorly, then who cares if he is pulling away?
Let him! Or, better yet, beat him to the punch and dump him yourself. This will make the necessary space in your life for the perfect guy to come along and sweep you off your feet.