When you have an adolescent in your family, it is an important stage in your teen’s life. There will be many different experiences during this period of time. As you want the transition from childhood to adulthood to be positive, one question you may have is “How to deal with teenage infatuation and teenage crush?
What Is Infatuation?
All normal people experience infatuation. It can be difficult for teens who never had this experience before.
- preoccupation with the other person
- lacking sound judgment
- extravagant or foolish
However, while these words and terms describe infatuation, it may not seem that way to your teenager. A teen is more likely to describe his feelings for another person as “true love.” Whether the object of his crush is a classmate or a celebrity, he believes he has found the love of his life.
How To Deal With Teenage Infatuation And Teenage Crush?
There are two common approaches parents often take when their adolescents have crushes. It is important to understand these approaches because they can be harmful. You can avoid these mistakes with your teen.
One mistake is to not take your teen’s feelings seriously. You know it is only a crush and that it will not last for long, but that is not the way it feels to him. Do not make jokes about his feelings, even if you think the crush is funny or cute. Avoid making remarks to other people that may embarrass your teen. You may be frustrated over his intensity, but avoid telling him how he feels, or that the feelings will soon be over.
A second mistake is to go too far in the opposite direction. If the person he has a crush on is someone he actually knows, do not try to push him into a relationship. Parents are not helpful when they encourage teens to start mature relationships when teens do not yet have that level of maturity. Your teen may go out on a date, but he is not ready for intimacy or commitments.
How To Help Your Teen With Crushes
Instead of treating your teen as if his feelings do not matter, or encouraging something he is not ready for, there are better ways to help him when he is dealing with a crush.
A good place to start is with your own experiences at the same age. Remember what it was like to have a huge crush on someone, but nobody seemed to understand. Perhaps your parents made fun of you and turned it into a joke. Perhaps they told you to get over it, and that your feelings were unrealistic. Or perhaps they pressured you to approach the person even if you were shy or unready.
Remembering your early crushes can help you relate to your teen. Think of how you wished other people had reacted. You wanted them to understand how much you loved the person, and that your feelings were real to you. Even if they did not react the way you had hoped, you can do it for your own teenager.
It is also helpful if you keep the lines of communication open. Let your teen know he can always talk to you about any subject. If you have not done so by now, develop the habit of listening. Often you will find all he wants is a sympathetic ear.
When he asks for advice, though, you should not hesitate to respond. Instead of telling him he must figure everything out on his own, answer his questions. Be tactful, but be honest.
You can also find something nice to say about the object of his affections. When you agree the person is smart, attractive, or talented, your teen will know you relate to his experiences. He will know you care about what he is going through, and that you take his feelings seriously.
When you know how to deal with teenage infatuation and a teenage crush, these experiences will be easier for your adolescent. He will know he is not alone, and that he is not misunderstood. His feelings matter, even if they are short-lived.