Psychological Ways to get over infatuation with a Friend? Commonly known by many as limerence, infatuation is a wild turbulent that subjects you to a plethora of negative and positive emotions about a person. It makes you obsess over objects of adoration and focus on fantasy.
When we can’t be with the person we are infatuated with, infatuation leads to an agonizing pain that could impinge on all other aspects of life.
As a result of the brain chemicals that are implicated with attraction (oxytocin, dopamine, and serotine), infatuation becomes unstable and illusory. It makes you feel enchanting in one minute, the next minute you are horrendously depressed.
Almost all human beings are at risk of falling to infatuation when they meet someone ‘special’ and click with the person emotionally, falling for them in a manner that is infuriatingly intractable.
All said and done, you can free yourself from these erratic feelings; Infatuation is a dopamine rollercoaster that you can easily overcome. The key things are to avoid the desire to keep lamenting about the person and being proactive in the recovery process.
Below is how you can get over infatuation with a friend:
- Mentally Draw an Ugly Photo of the Friend: Infatuation makes you turn a friend into a beautiful and mysterious demigod, making it hard to forget about a friend you visualize as stunningly attractive. As such, the best idea is to always picture the friend at his/her worst. Draw caricatured versions of their attractive photos. Think of the day you saw them after a heavy night out or the last time they wore a bizarre outfit that made them look like cartoons. This makes them look less desirable and makes you more real.
- Laugh at their Flaws, it changes the game: Infatuation makes you romanticize everything about the person you have crushed for. You rarely laugh at their flaws, because the brain rarely differentiates between a crush and a partner. However, the brain can be easily tricked out of the illusory circuit that is dopamine charged. Find humor in what your crush does, and never forget to think of them in a cruel way. That breaks the infatuation.
- Give Them a Nickname that is Silly: Psychologists are against you creating a mental character of someone you are infatuated with since it worsens the obsession. However, it can assist by increasing humor with the use of a ridiculous nickname. The nickname should be based on traits and features that they possess, because it alters the perception of your brain, leading to less infatuation.
- Eat Carbohydrates and Sugary Foods: Infatuation causes your brain’s natural chemicals known as neurotransmitters to be out of whack, which leads to fixation and obsession. During this time, serotonin levels are low, and increasing these levels helps avoid irrational elements, sleep well and feel contented. Sugary foods increase serotonin levels, and as such foods such as brown rice and sweet potato helps in keeping blood sugar optimal, which stabilizes your thoughts and helps you stop being infatuated with your friend.
- Talk to the Friend, It Brings the Infatuation back to Reality: Infatuation is worse when you don’t see and deal with your friend in real life. As such, you create a fantasy version of the person, something that makes you ignore their negative traits and focus only on the positive ones. Dealing with the crush in real life is a trick that helps eliminate obsession, as it psychologically rewires your brain back to reality.
- Avoid associating your friend with Partying or Music: When under infatuation, it is advisable to have lots of face to face conversations when sober, tired, stressed, bored, and irritated and in all sorts of moods. The worst thing you can do is to engage with the crush while intoxicated or partying, as your brain associates the person with happiness, making it hard for you to get over the friend. Associate the crush with negative thoughts instead.
- Accept that it’s not always that you get what you want: Infatuation makes you believe that your crush is meant for you and that it is an ‘injustice’ for you to live without them. However, sometimes in life, we have to kiss goodbye to some people who we think had been meant for us. It doesn’t matter how stunning they are, and you have to understand that the connection you have with them will never turn into a relationship. You must move on from this and have a life.
- Never Revel in the Highs of Infatuation: Seek Closure Instead: Infatuation is worsened by its lows: sadness and abject misery, which makes us rush to the internet to cure our broken hearts. It helps us become rational and move on, but the highs of infatuation could be equally dangerous and neuroatypical. Treasuring pleasant thoughts about a crush makes the recovery process longer. Negative thoughts about a crush will hurt you, but they are better than the positive thoughts that make you slip into ideation and romance.
- Their Silence amounts to Rejection: Find Peace in It: Rejection by a crush should never make you feel like you are losing a soul mate. Never feel like a dreamlike world is being taken away from you because you are losing your crush. Understand that you may not end up with the person, as they are already decided that they don’t want to be with you. Rejection may shatter you initially, but I promise you that after that you will stand, pick your pieces and go.
Lastly, if you want to look for a soul, have adventures, create memories, live authentically and find happiness in being alone. The right people will come along when the right time comes. Understand that you can’t have a soul that is not meant for you, and you will never make someone want you.
Stop lying to yourself, allow yourself to see the truth and never settle for uncertainty.